Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
