TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
