Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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