the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
