you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
