when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
