ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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