it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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