It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
