i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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