I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
