Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
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Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
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barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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