Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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