Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
