i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
