D3 body, D1 cock
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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