Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
foreskin is a definite game changer
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Why are your pants in the freezer?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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