I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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