But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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