I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
They are going to name an STD after you.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
