I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize