True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
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