I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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