I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
