I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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