do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
