I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Green mimosas i think yes
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
