Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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