I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
