Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
