I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
