i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
