I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
