You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Randomize
