i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
