i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize