I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
