You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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