Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
