I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
