Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My dick has a subreddit
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
