I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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