i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
