Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
