I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
