Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
