i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
