What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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