You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just found a bag of teeth...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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