i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize