My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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