I got chris browned last night
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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