He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
