I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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