My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
