So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Cover your peen. We're going out.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
