I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
