Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
