u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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