In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
