3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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