Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize