Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
