Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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